TO LIVE IS THE RAREST THING. MOST PEOPLE EXIST, THAT IS ALL.
Hopeless Romantic. Grounded Realist. Jaded Cynic.Indignant Sputtering of A Recalcitrant Insomniac
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
hesitation is tangible
it made it's presence known
every, oh, 5 seconds or so
and how i hate it.
certainty is ever so elusive
like the feeling of silk scarf slipping
gently, slowly but inexorably
down to the floor.
doubt is both repulsive and sticky
just one of the things that clung so fiercely
thistles and weeds on your summer dress
passionate defenders
of what?
self-worth maybe.
to do or not to do?
to relinquish or to gather in?
and it must be soon, soon, soon.
now, even.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
1. I am against religion being imposed on those who wish to be free of religious domination.
2. I just do not want religion being forced onto anyone.
3. I want freedom of choice when it comes to religion.
4. I want to decide whether to be religious or not.
5. I want religion to be something I choose and not something that is forced upon me.
2. I just do not want religion being forced onto anyone.
3. I want freedom of choice when it comes to religion.
4. I want to decide whether to be religious or not.
5. I want religion to be something I choose and not something that is forced upon me.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
i think it's better this way.
when everything is muted down.
diffused
diluted
suffused with surreality.
its acting it out that's hard
to steel yourself
to harden and not care one way or another.
cause everyone after all, live solely and purely for themselves, to serve their ends.
how i wish i can deaden the impulse, to silence the inner voice, to paralyze the compulsion, to halt the instict.
compassion and altruism, i've come to learn, are alien concepts apparently.
to learn to be welcoming yet defensive, to strike that perfect, delicate point of balance
to be genial and cordial
yet aloft and distant.
i'm always the one to exact too much out of oneself, am i not?
if it's not so painful, it would have been funny as hell.
and we shall see, time and fates( those bitches) will reveal what shall have to be ultimately
sacrificed and who shall ache the most.
for i knew, deep in my marrows, that hearts will have to break
mine is just one of the many casualties.
it's just that
i don't know whether i'll be completely healed this time around.
the saddest fucking thing is that, i cannot dream, hope nor wish no more.
the ability is gone
forever? who knows?
God, maybe.
i'm waging a war, towards everything and everyone
i'm battling it out
and i am standing alone in the middle of constant skirmishes.
hell, how i hate to have to do this
they're my parents, family for goddess sake.
yet have they ever regarded me such?
i know they tried, gods know that they do.
they could never figure me out, never did, and i suspect never will.
is it me then, always wanting too much?
then you're saying love and affection is things that one need not be yearning of.
i know this not so.
is it my foolish romantic notions?
i knew i've read too many romance novels, they've coloured my views of people indefinitely.
fuck my sentimentality.
i posses this horrible tendency to let ideals instead of cold reality reign supreme inside me.
she said that i feel way too deeply.
that is most probably true.
fuckall, i've known better now, havent i?
holy damn, there's only so much that i can contend with.