Hopeless Romantic. Grounded Realist. Jaded Cynic.
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to sakura,
happy birthday to me.
yup, i'm officially 19.
i feel weird, one year off from being 20,*shudder*.
it hasn't quite sunk in yet somehow.
but it will soon.
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i've gotten three birthday wishes and my facebook page is devoid of any.
i've always known that i've been quite a recluse presently and i can only count on approximately 4 people in the world to be called my friends but NONE?
seriously.
i'm a supremely practical girl, i get the reasons n stuff, i can soothed my abraded heart that it doen't really matter anyway.
that other girls got lavish parties and all the gifts they could ever hope and be thankful for.
that i've gotten none of those. no party and no presents.
it's just a birthday right, nothing much speciale...
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but it is quite a different day from the typical ones i've had all this sem break.
my mum drove hazwani, her sisters, adik and me out to the mall around 3 p.m.
we decided to watch Night At The Museums 2 after a little deliberations and consolations.
it was hillarious, really tickled my funny bones...
since its going to be a while yet before the movie is on, we rounded the shops and grab a quick McD.
I found some the most wonderful pairs of shoes!
there's cute flats with studs, boots like heels ( really tall heels), wedges..
n cute cropped cardis, elegant blouses...
i must really start on my shopping list.. :P
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God, why does it have to hurt so much.
it hurts. really bad.
i cannot put it out of my mind.
it's driving my insane.
that i've sunk so low as this.
that i've been ousted from any professional courses, that by virtue that goddamned fucking finals, i'm being forced to accept a situation so bizzare that i refuse even to contemplate it.
I'M NOT AN IDIOT. GODDAMNED IT, I'M BLOODY NOT.
that so many others have been accepted to do law, and i've been relegated to that.
no, it is not my wish to study and do law at all.
but it's a damned sight better than this!
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no, i refuse to give in to the absurdity of the matter.
i absolutely rejects the notion of going with the flow.
i will not.
i'm going to pray my hardest for a divine intervention( however impossible that sounds), and a deliverence of a miracle.
BY GOD, I WON'T GIVE UP ON MY BLOODY FUTURE THAT EASILY.
