Hopeless Romantic. Grounded Realist. Jaded Cynic.
scratch that.
i am soo not in the festive mood.
what is there to be excited of?
oh, i'm sure millions of uni students marooned from home out there would've listed down dozens of reasons.
n most will be perfectly logical n acceptable.
they are in the spirits because they can still feel it.
moi, however, doesn't feel even an inkling of that vibrant anticipation of a season of joy, or so they say..
they same faces, foods n most of all, rituals, nothing that i haven't experienced before..
no sense of enthusiasm for any of it all.
sigh..
i might be tempted to feel jumpy n get all anxious to hop on the bus on train, depends to be home, before.
it used to be my sanctuary, a place where i can feel closeted from the vicious outside world n all it represented.
no more.
it's a bleak place for me to be in now.
for me to fake a smile and pretend happiness, would be at the height of hypocrisy..
mockery of all that is symbolised by aidilfitri.
yet, that is where i'm heading..
the prospect of spending a week with my newly awakened eyes n senses with ppl that will undoubtedply grate on my nerves while i'm forced to be pleasant n carry on politely so, sheesh!
bloody hell.
i pray i will not loose it.
